The power of music

There's something distinctly spiritual about music. It has a unique power to lead revolutions and calm troubled hearts. The power of the tongue to build up or tear down, bless or curse, coupled with instrumentalist's power to excite or soothe.

I've seen the picture painted of two warring camps of worshipers: the house of the Lord lifting up our God and king and tearing down principalities and powers, and the enemy's camp tearing Him down, lifting high confusion, lust, and selfishness. There's still middle ground, it looks like at least, but it's fading fast.

The enemy camp:

There's bands and artists out there that have taken their side with the enemy, whether they wanted to or realized it or not. For example, Eminem's song, My Darling, is one of the creepiest things I've heard. It's basically him having a conversation with the demon that owns him. Marshall makes it clear he doesn't want it, but it's got him held fast. Disturbed is pretty open in their fondness for demons (for those who say they're a Christian band, look at any of their lyrics or album covers.) Katy Perry (a former Christian who I saw in an old P.O.D. music video last night; that's why I'm looking into all this) declared in an interview that she sold her soul to the devil. Her Christian parents, who were never able to explain the "why's" of Christianity to her, are proud of her success and glad she's not on drugs. Lady Gaga's song, Judas, leaves no question as to where her loyalties lie.

The Lord's camp:

Worship bands aren't too hard to recognize. They lift high the name of Jesus directly in their lyrics and (hopefully) creative instrumentals. Some of the most powerful examples, the ones that know they're in a war and the kind of weapons they hold, are Ascend the Hill, a band on the Come&Live record label, that gives all their music away for free as "musicianaries." Flyleaf is a beautiful example, boldly filling their sets at secular shows with powerful worship and testimony. Hardcore band For Today screams powerful lyrics straight from scripture with authority. Leeland gave a powerful concert here on the U of M recently. Then there's the bands every modern church member knows and worships with: Hillsong, Chris Tomlin, and Jesus Culture.

The middle ground:

Some bands are out there completely oblivious to the war and are finding themselves on the wrong end of the gun because of it. Paramore began as a band that made sure everyone knew they were Christians, but after the recording of their last album, two band members left because Haley was turning increasingly away from God. In one of her songs, she wrote, "the truth never set me free, so I'll do it myself." Linkin Park makes it clear they're searching for some sort of truth, something that will heal them and make their lives meaningful, but have clearly been hurt by Christians. There was so much hope and life in Alter Bridge's first two albums, but their third took a seriously dark turn, no doubt from the sketchy company they've been touring with. Billy Ray Cyrus is distraught over apparently losing his daughter Miley to the enemy in the drugs and all the worldly pleasures she's given herself to.

And how many "Christian" bands do nothing to lift up God's name? People took note of Jesus because He taught with authority. Sing and play with authority! Don't skate around Jesus' name. That's where the power is.

It's time to wake up and realize the war we're in and how much it permeates everything we do. Look up these references and see for yourself. Don't blindly (deafly?) listen to just any sort music, because it is so powerful in the spiritual realm. It has the power to lift up or tear down principalities and powers, demons, in an area. Consecrate your mind and your heart and pay attention.

PRAY for these musicians. I'm not OK with the enemy holding onto Eminem when it's so clear he wants out. I'm OK with Katy Perry being stolen right out from under our noses. I'm not OK with these men and women with such powerful gifts being stolen away from worshiping the One True God and being bound up in sin.

Everything

So, my last blog post was a bit hasty and emotional. And a long time ago. I'm not always very clear at communicating what I want to say and I've learned a lot more since then, so here's some clarity.

I want everything I do, every decision I make to bring glory to God. I want to bless God and other people or be building myself up so that I can bless others more effectively. I want to be able to say at any time that what I am doing is for God's glory.

This is why I have chosen to stop taking in entertainment. I don't play video games, watch television, read books, spend time online, or listen to music unless it is in some way building me up or truly blessing someone else.

I really can't help but see the television as a shrine to an idol. It's placed in the most prominent place in the house, at the center of everything, so we can gather around and let it wash our mind of the cares of the day.

God deserves everything we have. Every moment of our time and our attention. If I go and pray all day and then do something for my own self, is it not still sin? If I worship at God's feet all day and then bow towards Mecca and recite an Islamic prayer, is it not still idolatry? Then why do we spend our time in prayer in the morning (assuming we do that much) and then spend all evening in front of the television? God's way better at giving rest and comfort anyway.

Some wouldn't do it on their own, but for the sake of being with friends and "fellowshipping." Is it truly fellowship if you're so drawn into a game where you're killing the other person repeatedly that you never learn one thing about their lives? Is it truly fellowship if their having a horrible week and you never found out because both of you were too busy going spiritually and emotionally numb in front of the television? I will go places where everyone is focused on the television screen, but I know if I put my focus there, I'll go numb and lose the sense of God's presence. I'll be spent most of the Superbowl silently praying for the people in the room. We can do so much better with conversation, group prayer, or at least a simple card game where you can still get to know the other people better and grow closer to them.

I wonder how many Christians spend more time in prayer than being entertained.

These are things I firmly believe and since implementing them, God's given me many other ways to spend my time more fruitfully. I've been learning other languages online, praying and reading my Bible a ton, having awesome conversations with people, going for long walks and praying or thinking, practicing instruments, etc. I intend to take full advantage of the time God's given me now to let Him prepare me for ministry in the future.

Please pray over this and ask me if you have any questions. God's coming back soon. Purify your heart and your life and spend the extra time letting God develop and mature you for His work. God bless you!

Lion

I just spent two hours with some good Christian brothers watching Saturday Night Live and came away from it feeling sick. Everyone, including myself, laughed at some point. There was some entertainment value, but it just wasn't nearly worth the cost. I want to think, feel, and act like Christ. If I'm allowing that into my mind, it doesn't matter if I agree with it or not. It becomes part of my worldview, how I see things. I see people swearing, insulting, and offering their genitals to others in boxes and label it as humor instead of sinful.

I'm seriously fired up about this. God's been giving me a heart for purity and an aggression toward anything that threatens it. He's been calling me a lion lately, and I'm feeling what that means tonight. If we want to be the church and bride of the Lord Jesus Christ, we must be pure! That means sacrificing things that don't bring us closer to Him. Everything we do must bring us closer to Him! Do we not say we're living, or at least wanting to live, wholly surrendered to Him? Then why would we watch what He wouldn't, play what He wouldn't, accept what He wouldn't? C'mon!

My heart hurts over this! I'm tired of being silent and I certainly should have said more tonight, and even more so on previous occasions. We don't realize how much faster we'll be transformed into Christ's likeness if we stop gazing on the television and seek the heart of God. We're lied to by the enemy that we would be bored if we sat with God for as long as we could watch TV. This isn't true. He may not always satisfy immediately, but He will move whether or not you feel it. Go to Him expectantly, without agenda, and see if He doesn't reward you. Those who seek WILL find. If not immediately, look again. He wants to be the only one that satisfies you and will equip you for it! He will change your heart if you let Him.

We won't have revival without repentance. Christ won't come without a pure bride. If you're hungry to see the church alive, then let God be who He is! No more 10 minute morning and evening prayers. Sit with Him, in His Word, in worship, or in prayer for an hour or more. Let Him satisfy you in ways the world never could. I dare you. I say this because I've tasted and seen! The Lord is that good. Please let this sink in and pray over it.

Re(s/v)olution

I can't leave my previous blog unresolved, so here's the thrilling conclusion?

I'm no longer depressed and in pain. I'm joyful.

There it is.

I suppose you want the story to go with it. If you give a mouse a cookie, right? haha

So last week at small group, The Gary Clark and I talked and prayed, and though I couldn't say precisely what I wanted, I knew I needed a move of God's love, to know Him deeper as a person. A day or two later, I was laying down seeking God and I pictured myself standing in my heart (like Magic School Bus-type thing) and seeing a big gelatinous blob chilling there. That was my depression. It had developed nearly 8 years ago and has apparently just been chilling there ever since. I knew (instinctively, I guess) that it would take joy from God to resolve it. I pondered this a bit and very soon I was right back in my heart with a guest: Jesus. He laid His hand on the blob and right away it quickly shrank to nothing. He left some sort of golden orb there as a reminder as well, an altar of remembrance I suppose. I'm not completely sure of the significance of that yet. But I felt this in my heart immediately. I was filled with joy and I have been ever since. My emotions have certainly waxed and waned, but there's always a joyful heart waiting underneath now. Praise the Lord!

Bonus story:
A few weeks ago my friend Katelyn badly burned one of her feet and I told her I would cover her in prayer (which I did.) A week or so later, at about 3 am, I woke up with my left foot painfully itching. I turned on the light and checked it over and nothing looked wrong at all. I was reminded of Katelyn's situation and and prayed for her and slowly my pain/itch faded. I asked her via Facebook, "Was it your left foot?," and it was. She had gone to the ER that night because it had become infected. I've heard of this kind of stuff before, but it's so much cooler to have God do it in you.

Oh, and the revolution part? Well, I just feel inspired to make music lately. I know and I see that God is raising up musicians to lead a movement. Whole-hearted worshippers like Flyleaf, norm-challengers like Switchfoot, and those who long for His return like Anberlin. All these have been around a while, but they're all more mainstream than ever and it's becoming seemingly more acceptable to look at God in the music scene, even for secular artists (30 Seconds to Mars?.) I saw a quote last night on Switchfoot's The Sound music video:

Any movement to start that's gonna move anywhere is gotta get music to drive it... We gotta get music to drive what we are doing. ~John M. Perkins

...And I want to be that music.

Summertime Blues

So, it's been a while.

Recap:
The rest of my semester at school was amazing. That prayer group grew, meeting in the auditorium every day at four, learning to pray under God's leading. In the last days, though, things started clouding up fast for me spiritually. I could no longer distinguish God from other spirits and occasionally followed the wrong one. I cried often (which is really unusual for me) because I wasn't getting my rest in God and nothing else satisfied. Nothing was going as I had planned: my car was a money pit, I couldn't find a job, random other monetary demands came at me.

Although I still don't have a job and I'm completely on monetary life-support from my parents, I finally feel spiritually... ok. I've learned to find God's voice (for the first time) in the Bible, where I'm supposed to find it. It grounds my prayer, gives me a base for actually hearing God again in a real, new way. While I'm still very uncomfortable, I can feel Him again. I can trust Him. I have a local spiritual community and a little hope. I still don't feel good...

Ok, so I'm really bad at writing about emotion, because I have zero experience in it. Emotions are hard and inconvinient and I don't know what to do with them. I'm tempted to go to surface talk, it's not nearly as easy to be self-controlled. I thought I was really good at self-control. I thought I was really good in general for a long time. But...

Preface: I had a conversation with Gloria in her dorm one evening and she made a comment to the effect of, "I am not a jelly donut, I am whole grain bread."
"...?"
"I'm rough around the edges, tough to get through, but really good for you."
Crystal walks in: "I'm like broccolli:" Something about green and cheesy
Meanwhile I have no idea what kind of... spiritual food I would be.

The next day, Gloria, Katrina, Sadie and I went to a bible study at NorthWestern where Gloria was to speak. The night ended with prophesy, which, for me, is very not normal. We gathered in a circle and one at a time someone was prayed for in the middle, someone(s) else would get some sort of prophetic image/vision and others would get interpretation. When I was in the middle, Sadie got an image of scrambled eggs.
That's what spiritual food I am.
I'm really a mess.
And at a later prayer meeting, Sadie said I'm still scrambled eggs, but now there's some cayanne pepper or something in there making me cry.
So there it is: uncomfortable, emotional, messy. And though I really, really wanted to say everything's wrapping up nicely, that's not how life works, despite my previous obliviousness (oblivion?).

And I was feeling good before I started writing. Gosh. Heart digging is a bit more painful with emotion (substance) there.

Belief

I realized today that I believe things very strongly. I'm very passionate about the things I believe in. But I'm so hesitant to tell people. I'm so hesitant to let others know my beliefs. For instance, God spoke to me today. He had me write down basically a page of stuff and then read it at the prayer meeting I was at today. Later someone asked, "Did you get that straight from God?" I couldn't say yes. I had to explain myself, work into it. It feels cocky or presumptuous to say it's God speaking through me. But I believe very strongly that that's what it was. Same goes for theological stuff. I have opinions, believe it or not. Ask me, and watch. Hold me accountable here; help me build my confidence.

Here's what God had me write down and read this afternoon:

I love you. I love you with all of my heart. You will never miss what I have for you. I have it all planned out. Such great things are in store for you! Are you ready? It's coming hard and fast; be prepared and watch for me. I'm coming. Are you living for that day? Are you ready to stand before me in my glory? You don't stand a chance unless you let me prepare you. You're going to be so much more than you are or were, more than you've seen. I've made this generation with a special purpose: to prepare the way. Unseen forces will come against you; astonishing things. But do not fear, for I am with you. I love you. I Love You! Me! The God of the Universe. Are you ready for me? Are you ready for me to come? You have nothing on your own strength, but I will make you great if you abide in me. Nothing will stop you, seen or unseen, if you stay with me. I love you. I will never leave you. You are my child. You can't grow up and move away. I have room in my house for you forever. No rent, no dues to pay, just love, forever. Are you ready? Then live like it! That's what's in store, what's coming. You won't find anything better; stop trying. None of your games or friends can please you like I can. Live like it. I am coming, and if you're not prepared, there's Hell to pay. But let me make you ready and you'll never regret your choice. You'll live life unashamed, unafraid, no enemies worth speaking of. Your eyes on higher things, you'll rule this world with Me. You are in Me and I am in You. The God of the Universe, abiding in you. Live like it, and you'll see me, see my face, my glory in all it's beauty. I love you, child. You are my beloved and I delight in you.

Offensive

I'm living at North Central University in the dorms and I have a lot to learn. Living with people that go to bed later than I do is new. All my little survival mechanisms are being deactivated as I run into situations where they just don't work anymore. I wanted to cling to the slow paced life I'm used to, with plenty of time to think and sort through what's going on, but I can't slow the demands on my time and money. I'm not used to dealing with people all day everyday. I would deal with people a few hours, then go home and reset myself. It's a lot of change at once.
I've found a deeply rooted dislike for true intimacy in my heart. I don't fully understand it yet, but here are the highlights. There are a few people here that are so in love with Jesus that they are in constant awe, amazed at who He is. I love that on Sunday night, but it makes me rather uncomfortable in a science class in the middle of the day. It offends me. I'm looking for information, not emotion. I've spent many years in school numb and silent, and it's really unusual to be having conversations with a near stranger about the love of God before class. I can't sit in awe of God when I just want to find out how metabolism works so I can pass the next exam. But I want that passion so badly. I want to stop caring what other people think and be able sit and close my eyes to receive love from God if I need to.
I stumbled upon a prayer meeting on my dorm floor that meets everyday in the afternoon. It's the same thing. I can say a nice prayer about how I want revival to come here, but it God starts moving His Spirit in my body and leading me to cry out, it doesn't compute. I want God to reign in me; I want to be an open vessel but part of me still wants others' opinions of me to remain favorable. It's contradictory. I've said it a thousand times, but now my actions have to line up.