Hello there

I enjoy reading people's blogs. Maybe people will enjoy mine. Or maybe I just get some things out there anyway.

So here's generally where my life is right now. I left McNally Smith College of Music on God's leading and I'm currently working at Macy's Skyroom restaurant for Randy Bauer in downtown Minneapolis. I'm trying to work off debt from my Taiwan trip yet and eventually save some money up for North Central University this spring. I'm living in a house in North Minneapolis with one elusive housemate. The resulting silence has been telling. I only just got the job a few weeks ago, so God has used all that free time to teach me about myself and about Him.

At the moment, I'm learning again how to spend my time and how complicated I make things. I've believed that I can only follow God in certain moods, that I have to be serious to enjoy being with Him. I lost sight of the joy that comes in His presence. I watched a live stream online of IHOP (International House of Prayer [sorry pancake fans]) and it brought this to my attention. The Holy Spirit is an interesting character that doesn't seem to get near His proper place in most churches and gets kind of a bad rap. The man on the stage was, I would say, 'under the influence' of the Spirit. As he felt Him move, it would come out: he would bend over and shout out or laugh with the joy of it. The songs played and the stories told spoke of freedom from the pressure of performance. I've lived in fear of what people would think of my actions if I did anything out of the ordinary. I've tried to study enough, read my bible enough, but it's His Spirit that I miss. I try to engage my mind while my body, heart and soul lay dormant. I want to learn how to live fully, in every dimension. A music video I recieved via email yesterday said, "Don't be afraid to stand out; that's how the lost are found." It depicted a road trip the lead singer went on, praying for God to bring needy, hurting and broken people across her path. I started crying, out of nowhere. I know God has spoken.

I'm still working on my writing skills. Comment and let me know what you think about anything.